Hurtin' Deeper
by Krys Xanthina
Summary: Rogue finds a way out in a moment of desperation... but does she really want it?


They were all going, one by one. She could see it now, why hadn't she before?  
  
First Jean, then Scott... Toad, Ororo about a month ago... Sabretooth, then Logan less than two weeks... Magneto... He went then, and not at the hands of the professor. By hers. She'd done that alone.  
  
After Ororo died, Ju packed up a left... Apparantly there was a car crash....  
  
That was it. There were just the few of them left. The Professor barely came out of his study, and he didn't allow anyone in.  
  
Kitty and Bobby were inseparable, helping each other in this time of crisis...  
  
And her. The Rogue. Alone in her room...  
  
Remy sometimes came down the hall to see how she was holding up, but he looked a wreck. He hadn't looked himself since 'Ro went...  
  
That was it. That's all there were left.... the shambled remains of the almighty X-Men. Magneto's group had fared less well. Only Mystique survived.  
  
But this was it. Remy had taken off again two days ago without telling anyone, and he was nowhere to be found. She'd been out looking.  
  
She looked at the knife on the desk. The only way out. She couldn't hurt anyone anymore if she wasn't here. She didn't deserve to be here... not anymore. Not now she'd hurt people.... her friends... her team-mates... and let them down... let them die.  
  
She'd let Jean die... She didn't realise Scott's feelings ran so deep, that he couldn't handle it alone... Didn't realise that Sabretooth would come back to finish what he started with Ororo... And she'd let Logan go out when she knew Magneto would be looking for revenge against him because of Sabretooth... And Jubilee. She was just a kid, and Rogue had let her go alone...  
  
No second thoughts.  
  
The cool plastic of the handle did nothing to change her mind.  
  
Neither did the coldness of the steel as she pressed the flat of the blade against her cheek.  
  
No, No Regrets....  
  
Except Remy...  
  
Dropping the knife, she took out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling a note. Signing it, she dropped the pen on top of it.  
  
That was everything.  
  
**FlashBack**  
  
She sat, cowering in the corner as her father ranted and raved.  
  
"Ah cant believe it! Mah own daughter! A mutant! Well that stops here! NO daughter o'mine is gonna be a mutant!"  
  
"Daddy please!"  
  
"You're not mah daughter!"  
  
**End of flashback**  
  
Not even her own parents could stand her. Not when they'd found out... They'd never looked for her... Never...  
  
They didn't care, because she was different.  
  
She picked the knife back up quickly. It'd all be over in seconds. It wouldn't even hurt. She pressed the blade of the knife into the side of her neck, the faintest trickle of blood appearing on her neck. She took a deep breath.  
  
"MARIE!" The panicked voice came from the doorway, and as she turned to look, she forgot about the knife.  
  
The cold steel went clean through the flesh at her neck, slicing the artery clean in half. The knife dropped from her new red fingers, and she looked confused as Remy ran across.  
  
"Remy?"  
  
"I'm here Rogue... Oh ghod..."  
  
"Ahm sorry Remy... Ah didn't mean to... Ah just..." She started crying as she fell to the floor, tears welling up. "Ah love you..."  
  
Remy had also started crying, kneeling beside her, her head on his lap.  
  
"Gone... so long..."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Sorry.... I went ta get ya a present Chere..." he pressed the ring into her hand. "So ya'll never forget Gambit...."  
  
"Ah couldn't if Ah tried.." She replied weakly, as she started choking. A second later, her chest stopped moving in the frantic heaving it had been doing, trying to keep itself alive.  
  
He bent over her a little more.  
  
"Rogue! Marie! No, please.... y' cant go petite... I love ya too... dis isnt fair!"  
  
He put her down gently a few minutes later and stood up, not mindful of the blood all over his clothes. Seeing the letter on the side, addressed to him, he opened it and read it quickly.  
  
Mah dearest Remy,  
  
Ah wanted ta tell ya this for a long time nahw, but Ah just cant find th' words when Ahm with you.  
  
Ah love ya.  
  
There. Ah said it. Ah love Gambit.  
  
And Ahm sorry for what Ah've done... for everythin'... Jean, Scott, Logan, Ju....  
  
An 'Ro. 'Specially 'Ro. Ah know how much ya cared for her, an her goin' hurt ya more than Ah ever wanted ta.  
  
Ahm sorry Remy, but Ah gotta do this. Ah know it wont bring 'Ro back, but Ah hope it helps.  
  
Please understand.  
  
Forever Yours,  
  
Marie  
  
XXX  
  
P.S. Ah'll all'as be with ya... watchin' over ya...  
  
He sat down on her bed, thinking.  
  
"Petite did dis cos she t'ought Gambit wanted 'Ro more dan her?" His voice was quiet, shocked.  
  
He noted the picture next to her bed and picked it up. The two of them together, smiling and laughing. About three months ago.  
  
He kissed her forehead, closing her eyes gently.  
  
"You alas be in my heart Petite.... Der'l ner be anodder Rogue." 


End file.
